"Have you ever had anything scary or really bad happen to you?"
Shrug. "I don't know. Maybe."
"When it happened, did you feel like you couldn't stop thinking about it?"
Shrug.
Her father had brought her in. He sat across from me, with a tear tattoo under his eye. He's in his 40s, and the tattoo is old, dating back to when it only met that one had committed murder.
He was wearing one of those wrinkled cloth hats. I don't know what they're called. I see them on young musicians. Except he isn't a young musician; he 's a former gang banger who seemed amazed that his kids were completely out of control. He told me that he and his wife fought physically, binged on alcohol and crack cocaine, unti he was sent to prison when his daughter was seven. While he was gone, his wife became homeless, and divorced him. His daughter went to live with various relatives. He got out 8 years later.
So why was here here?
"Well, she has a bad attitude. Talks back, won't do her chores. Sometimes she runs away and stays gone for more than a week. "
Oh. You THINK? He brought this broken girl in, and asked for super glue. Actually, he asked for residential treatment. He's been putting her off on relatives for her whole life, and now when the real parenting begins, he can't handle it. Child protective services just took his kid with his new girlfriend. His other kids are all in prison, but "they're doing really well there". Shit. He just needs, he tells me, time to get his head together.
He seemed, I shit you not, MYSTIFIED by his daughter's lack of respect.
"You know that her life has been pretty chotic, right? You're aware that this causes kids to form maladaptive patterns of behavior?
It was his turn to shrug. "I made mistakes. I can't help that. Can't take them back."
So then I was alone with Miss Thing. She had makeup caked on, painted eyebrows, dark lipliner. It took me 45 minutes just to get her to answer some questions. For fun, she "parties". Likes to binge on Bacardi. She spoke softly, and always seemed to be on the verge of tears. She doesn't know of any other hobbies. What are those?Out of the blue, she said, "you know, sometimes, I wonder why my family can't be more like TV familes. she said "nobody is really a family for me. Everyone just has their own life. It's so fucked--sorry--messed up."
"Don't apologize. You can say what you want in here."
Before she left that day, she asked to put her in treatment foster care. Asked for it.
She sounded tired. How do you get so tired when you're only fifteen?
That's how much you've fucked up your family, Mr. oh, so cool man. Mr. Scary tear tattoo man.
Strangers, unmet, are preferable to you.
