This sucks. This fucking sucks. All I did was remind you that I wanted to rest the first couple days coming here, and not exert myself. I got sick the last time I did that, and I already put in 20 miles of running today. On pavemenbt. Yet, you went full guns and were all "HEY! YEAH! LET'S GO up to 12000 feet and go hiking!"
I reminded you of my need to rest before exerting myself.
Your response?
"Well, then say here. Don't go."
Then you started freaking out, asking me if I was going to have a big thing. Christ. All I did was remind you, in a calm voice, of what I'd told you was important to me.
Stay here? Don't go? What kind of shit is that? I thought we'd cleared this up. I thought I'd explained to you how left out of everything I felt, and how sick of being left behind I was. ANd, but, despite my need to rest at this altitude, you plan to get up at 6 AM, so we have fucking coffee, and drive for 45 minutes to spend a half an hour someplace, and then drive 45 minutes back?
Didn't we just have a long conversation about how the stress the last time we were here was at least partly due to all the driving we had to do, and to how I felt about constantly being left out?
I'm tired of not mattering.
I'm tired of you not caring how I feel.
I'm tired of being on the back burner.
I'm tired of not being able to simply state an opinion without you freaking out on me and not being able to have a civilized conversation.
I'm tired of all this shit.
Then you tell me that I'm sitting over here and tearing up? What the fuck? My eyes were dry, and I was calm.
I. Am. So. Sick. Of. This. SHIT!!!!!!!
As soon as you finish this fucking race, you're going to hear it from me, too. But for now, so that you don't get too *stressed* I'll keep my mouth shut.
FUCK!
